Squabble
by mnemosyne23
Summary: Future baby!fic. River and Jayne discuss what to name the newest addition to the Serenity family. No spoilers.


**TITLE:** Squabble  
**AUTHOR:** Mnemosyne 

**Disclaimer:** Not mine!  
**SUMMARY:** Baby!Ficlet. River and Jayne have a little talk about what to name the newest addition to the _Serenity_ family.  
**RATING:** PG  
**SPOILERS:** None of note. Future!fic, set years after _Serenity_.  
**NOTES:**  
I couldn't resist. Rayne Baby!fic is like crack – I need it like _whoa_. LOL! This is a dialogue fic, which is a style I love because it means I don't have to deal with a lot of description and can stick to the meat and bones of the story, which is the interaction between the characters. And River and Jayne have such great interaction, don't you think? (coo) Keep in mind – written very quickly at one in the morning. Again. I seem to make a habit of this. LOL! I hope you enjoy!

* * *

"It is an outdated, outmoded, inefficient continuation of a patriarchal hierarchy."

"I don't get none of what you just said, baby doll, but I think my answer is no."

"You are being an intractable Neanderthal."

"Um... No again?"

"I'm right, you're wrong."

"I ain't namin' our little girl River, Jr.!"

"Why not?"

"Because it ain't done, that's why! Little girls get new names. Only little boys get named after their parents, and then it's after their Pa."

"Nonsensical. There is no logical reason for this system."

"Sure there is."

"Explain?"

"Well, my Ma used to say daddies could only handle one momma at a time; wouldn't do to have two womenfolk answerin' to the same name runnin' 'round the house. Liable to drive a man to an early grave. But girlfolk? Well, she always said girlfolk could handle all the men the Lord could throw at 'em, so it didn't matter how many there was of any one body."

"Sensible. When will I meet your mother?"

"Aww, baby, don't start in on that one again."

"Two years, three months, five days and six hours-"

"_-since we was married, in a simple little ceremony on Persephone._ I know, I know, baby doll, and I swears on my grandaddy's grave that I'll bring you and the little one to meet 'em just as soon as we're 'round that way again."

"I will tell the Captain to ensure we are 'round that way in time for Christmas."

"You're a sneaky little wench, you know that, baby? No wonder I love you so gorram much."

"Two by two, like leopards on the Ark."

"Two by three now, case you're forgettin' that little bundle you got there."

"Still two by two. She's me and you."

"You a poet now, baby?"

"Poet, scholar, mother, lover-"

"Yeah, I'm fond of them last two 'specially."

"The mother thinks the daughter looks like you."

"You think?"

"Well, she looks hungry..."

"You yankin' my chain, woman?"

"Tug, tug."

"Minx, if you didn't look like you'd just been through a threshin' machine backward on a bad day, I'd tickle you senseless."

"You think I look ugly?"

"What? I... No! Baby, you know I'd never... I mean, I didn't mean-"

"I am the mother of your _child_."

"I know! I know, doll. _Gan ni niang_..."

"Oh no. Don't do it, sugar. Don't gimme the eyes..."

OO

"Awww, River. Come on, baby doll, I'm sorry. You know I'm sorry! You know I'd never mean nothin' like that! You're the prettiest gorram flower ever grew. Hell, you're even prettier now 'cause you've got that sweet little dumpling tucked up on your chest, all cuddly-like."

"Do I gotta beg?"

"Name it, I'll do it. Just don't be mad, Riv. Not today."

"...Jayne?"

"Baby?"

"Tug, tug."

"...Why you li'l...! Makin' me think you was all mad at me!"

"I tease because I love."

"Yeah, well, how 'bout you don't tease when your man's workin' on two hours of sleep and a broken hand. You got one helluva grip, sugar pie."

"Sugar... Pie... Dumpling... My man is hungry."

"Maybe a bit. It's been a long night."

"You feel I must be made aware of this?"

"Er... Well, yeah, guess you're right..."

"I am the mother of your _child_."

"Oh no you don't. Uh-uh, you ain't catchin' me on that one again. I'm wise to you, missy."

"Good boy. Sharp as a tack, my Jayne is. No wonder I love you so gorram much."

"Momma didn't raise herself no fools."

"Momma didn't raise herself no Momma, Jrs, neither."

"Now I thought we settled this, Riv. I ain't makin' our daughter no Junior."

"Then we are at an impasse."

"A what now?"

"An impasse. An irreconcilable difference of opinion. Hope is lost."

"Well now, let's not be too hasty. I could be... persuaded."

"Indeed?"

"Mebbe."

"And I feel that I may be... persuaded as well. If the price set is agreeable to both parties."

"Got anything in mind?"

"Copper for a kiss?"

"Deal."

------------------------------

In the end it was a compromise. They named the baby Brooke.

**THE END**


End file.
